Cut twice and Salted

September 25, 2010 § Leave a comment

i know i shouldn’t be blaming anyone.

i was offered after all.

but a girl is allowed to whine right? especially when it isn’t once bitten twice shy, but twice bitten and who knows? maybe still not shy enough because it sucks to still need more than hurt.

but being left alone to nurse my wound for a day was bad enough .

now i have to sit through again as another wound by the same knife was cut again, in the same spot.

i never knew reopening a wound would hurt far worse than the first time it was cut.

and instead of saying something comforting all i got was salt poured and fire burning the stitches i nursed so carefully the night before

you know what sucks even more?

it isn’t even a year and i’m feeling more than a year’s worth of pain in seven months.

close enough. atleast more than half a year.

and duration isn’t important this time.

its the amount of feelings and deep wounds poured through

if being in love sucked this badly , guess i’m screwed.

maybe if life decides to allow me to make lemonade the next time i’m being pelted at with lemons, if there were to be a next, maybe life would ensure that i’ll be the blender this time and guard my heart with spikes.

i probably would’ve loved enough this life time.

maybe i’ll get to marry the supposed dream guy without feeling anything for him and it wouldn’t even bother that i’m in a matrimony with some guy that i just happen to be okay with just to live a comfortable life. it’s what everyone always wants right?

hopefully he knows how to comfort. and hopefully i won’t be ungrateful and divorce due to silly naiive things like ” because it isn’t love

love is for young adults.
comfort is for life.
and maybe this time after this, i’ll learn my lesson and be the one stirring the pot with a ladle instead of being the ingredient in hot soup.
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