Petals of Confusion, Roots of Wisdom

June 3, 2012 § Leave a comment

After so many years (>5 to be exact), I have broken my weekly routine.

I have started to embrace the world in all its pessimism AND reality.

All it took was a tipping point, to get me to stop.

And another took a picture to show me clearly why have I never fully immerse myself into the culture, following the (sometimes foolish extreme and optimistic) quirks and mannerisms of the goers.

To my defense, of course i don’t see anything wrong with hoping and being positive. Of course i fully believe that there are situations that can be turned around with positive thinking. 

I also fully believe that there are people who are just luckier in life who share the same beliefs to be a living testament to others. 

But one thing i have grown to understand is that no matter what, luck differs in a ratio that is to congruent individuals. 1:1.

There will always be a person luckier than the other. To quote a wise man (who has seen the world enough to win me over and gave me life) I love and respect dearly, “One mountain is always higher than the other.”.

But after awhile, quoting biblical verses and blind sheer faith will get one person nowhere.

You can own thousands of mustard seeds. But that mustard seed of faith that you don’t plant and water everyday will never move mountains if they don’t have a place for their roots to grow.

You will never climb to the second floor if you only take one step and believe that you are on a teleportation device. As far as I’m concern, anything moving and has steps are escalators. And after taking the first step to move, you need to get off it to go somewhere else.

I guess I grew tired of the surroundings. Or maybe, I just learnt how to properly embrace reality.

Initially i thought it was hypocrisy. But after so much thinking and reflecting, it just doesn’t feel that way. I genuinely believe that there are nice people who screw up. But taking a step further, i realize that there are people who just want to hole themselves up in their perfect world. (And by perfect, i don’t mean a world where they feel that everything is rainbow and sunshine and unicorns. I mean perfection in little mishaps they believe they still can deal with. )

Maybe that’s why I’m stopping.
Maybe that’s why I have a half-heart to change my direction and routine.

But the presence there, I really do miss and love the place. But i can no longer be genuine.

The saying of how too much good thing is a bad thing can come into good play now.

It’s exactly like a field full of crops and flowers. You spray pesticide in the field, in hopes of keeping the bugs away = Good.

Spray too much pesticide, your plants start to wither or your crops start becoming poisoned. Leading to people either getting infected with the poison (hello new manifestations of diseases) or dying immediately.

Or maybe your weeds start growing out of hand, strangling everything in sight. Even your livestock. (okay this came from the sci-fi movie i was watching a few weeks ago where the weeds starting creating earthquakes whenever there is an emission of carbon monoxide and other poisonous gas.) 

Okay, so i was watching a sci-fi movie and entertaining an imaginary world of what-ifs. Not a norm for me, so sue me.

Bringing it down to a more realistic level,

Can a flower bloom and grow in fertile soil, perfect sunlight and weather conditions, but in a field of weeds surrounding it?

Ofcourse it can. Everything else is perfect. The weeds are but tribulations and trials to allow the flower to probably have stronger stalks, or roots etc. But everything has it’s lifespan. Living things grow weary. Dependency on God can only bring one person, so far.

Or maybe, by growing, we can dig up the flower, and transport it to a flower pot. Or another field. Where the surrounding conditions of the weather needs a little more work. God fully believes in that too. I believe that’s how strategic retreat originated from.

But which option is better?

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