It’s all relative
February 6, 2014 § Leave a comment
Have you ever wondered why i choose to side with the misfits? Why even with a barking dog that you all can’t wait to get rid of, but giving me till a certain time period to give her away, i choose to side with her and stick to her till the end?
It is true, a barking dog does not bite. Perhaps all that i’m saying is falling on deaf ears because all i am, is just a barking dog and not a daughter to you.
And probably why i protect her and relate well to her.
It just isn’t fair to me that i give up pursuing my degree because I saw how expensive it can be. It isn’t fair to me that whenever I show you reason and logic that you end of the argument with the worst cliches that should never exist. Many including : “My house my rules” , or “ You’re a girl.” and my personal favourite, “Because we’re your parents”
It isn’t fair that I give up what I love to try ways and means for a better life, but all it ends up to be is that I’m treated like crap in my home.
It is true that I have always been ambitious. It is true that I love to go out and have my fun. But if you knew half the things that go on in my head, you would understand why i go out. The problem is you never took the time to listen to me and to talk to me. You pushed me to grow up way before my age.
You think that, as my mother, you know me the best.
You know what the hard truth is?
You are taking credit for the most important thing you never did. You provided the financial security, but you were never the ones who taught me and brought me up.
What you think you know, is barely scratch marks on the surface.
Whoever I am today, and whatever I earn and aim for, has nothing to do with you.
If we are one day stripped to the very core, all i can hope for is that you made the right choice in spoiling the right kids, and hope that you still inculcate and cultivated a sense of obligation and filial piety from them.
Mine was never cultivated from you.
In adversity, you try to show me off to the world and praise me and say that I am all that is good. But in reality, the biasness between us, is the real adversity.
I never agreed with your (total lack of) parenting techniques. And I’m fine with it. I grew up well without you teaching me the meaning of morals and I never really grew up with your values in life.
I’m not even asking you to start parenting me now. No, I’m not that needy in attention. I have far more than i can handle, and I am content enough with my own busy schedule in life to not be bothered with such things anymore.
What I’m asking is simple.
All I ask for is, if you never parented me in the first place for the past 20 years of my life, Please don’t try to start now. Not only are you too late, made all the mistakes with me by forcing me to your will and whimsy, but you have also, since long ago, lost my respect.
Dont be mistaken. In life, there are two types of respect. One, that is obligated to you as an elder or as a relative/parent. And the other that has to either be earned which can be lost. I keep my obligation out of that. That’s about it.